Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Bring me that man meat
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
