Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
