i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
