I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
