i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize