if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
they're like a gay fantastic four
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
