I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
