You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
