whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
where am i from again
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
