I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
