I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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