you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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