my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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