Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
