Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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