we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
