Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
