someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
