I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
