So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
