We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
NoShamevember. You game?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
