What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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