So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
