i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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