Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
