hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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