Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish i was in the wii world.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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