if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
