dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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