I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize