i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just found a bag of teeth...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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