didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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