I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we made out on top of his cat.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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