the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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