I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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