is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Terrible idea I love it
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
