I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
