yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
