my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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