you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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