maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I have fence marks all over my body
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
