I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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