Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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