Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
