If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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