I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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