i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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