Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
