Don't you send me to vm
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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