Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
