Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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