There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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