I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
