I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
