Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
