I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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