I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Congratulations! We have a period
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize