we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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