i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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