I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
