i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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