I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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