I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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