if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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