i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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